With nearly a third of Kiwi households sharing their lives with a dog, it’s important to understand how our daily routines might be impacting their wellbeing – especially when it comes to time spent alone.
While most dogs cope well with daily separations, some experience real emotional distress when left at home. This is known as separation related anxiety – a condition where dogs show signs of panic, frustration or fear when their owners leave. These behaviours aren’t about disobedience or boredom; they may be symptoms of genuine anxiety.
What does separation anxiety look like?
Dogs with separation anxiety may show signs before you even walk out the door. Common indicators include:
Agitation when you pick up keys or put on shoes
Destructive behaviours focused on exit points (like doors or windows)
Barking, whining, or howling when left alone
House-soiling despite being toilet-trained
Pacing, panting, or restlessness
Over-the-top greetings when you return
In more severe cases, dogs may even injure themselves trying to escape or cope.
Why it happens
Dogs are social animals who evolved to live in groups. Modern life – where families disappear for 8–10 hours a day – can be tough for dogs who rely on human companionship. Some dogs also struggle because of past experiences, like being abandoned, rehomed, or left alone too soon as puppies.
Others may have simply never been taught how to be comfortable on their own, especially dogs adopted during times of constant companionship - like the COVID-19 lockdowns.
While the reasons can be complex and quite individual to each dog, research has identified several underlying factors can contribute to separation related behaviours:
Pathological over-attachment: Dogs overly dependent on their owners may become distressed even during short separations, especially if they’ve never learned to be alone or have been reinforced for clingy behaviour.
Conditioned fear of isolation: A traumatic event while alone – like a storm or break-in – can cause dogs to associate being alone with danger, especially if the event was recent.
Lack of alone-time training: Dogs not gradually taught to cope with being alone, especially those raised during lockdowns, may struggle when left on their own.
Environmental triggers: Noises or activity outside – like couriers, other animals, or neighbourhood sounds – can distress dogs when no one is home to reassure them, or a change in living environment can trigger anxiety
Frustration or panic: Dogs may become distressed if they can’t control their environment, feel trapped, or can’t escape stress-inducing situations. Frustration can lead to arousal causing the dog to bark and exhibit destructive behaviours when left alone.
Some behaviours that appear to be separation anxiety may actually be due to other causes, such as boredom, incomplete house-training, limited toileting opportunities, or normal exploratory behaviour when unsupervised.
What you can do
The good news? Most dogs can learn to be OK with alone time—with patience, consistency, and the right support.
Immediate safety and damage control should be your first priority. Create a safe, comfortable space (a den) where your dog cannot injure themselves or destroy valuable items. Consider using baby gates to confine your dog to a safe area in the home rather than complete isolation, which can increase anxiety. Remove or secure items that might be dangerous if chewed or ingested.
Once safety has been established, start with these key steps:
Talk to your vet: It is very important to rule out medical issues which may be causing these behaviours before attempting other steps.
Ease into it: Practice short separations at home before longer absences. This is called learning to be alone through desensitisation and counter-conditioning and it represents the gold standard of behavioural modification for separation anxiety. The key is progressing so gradually that your dog never becomes anxious.
Change your cues: Pick up your keys or put on your coat without leaving to reduce anticipatory stress.
Reward calmness: Use special toys or treats that your dog only gets when you're gone.
Enrich the environment: Keep your dog mentally stimulated with puzzle feeders and chew toys. Leaving the radio or TV on can also help.
Avoid dramatic goodbyes and reunions: Stay calm and casual to avoid heightening emotion.
Some cases may benefit from professional behaviour therapy or anti-anxiety medication to support long-term recovery – especially when distress is severe or escalating.
Every dog deserves to feel safe
Separation anxiety can be tough – for dogs and their people. But it’s not a hopeless situation. The process requires time – often months rather than weeks – but the improvement in quality of life for both dog and family makes the investment worthwhile.
With the right help, most dogs improve over time and learn to relax when home alone. Understanding that these behaviours mostly stem from fear – not mischief – is the first step in giving your dog the support they need to live a happy, confident life.
Want to learn more?
Check out our Extended Guide on separation anxiety, where we explore:
Why dogs struggle with time alone
How to spot the signs
Why rehomed dogs may be more vulnerable
Practical training strategies
When to seek professional help
