Home alone: helping dogs cope with separation anxiety

With nearly a third of Kiwi households sharing their lives with a dog, it’s important to understand how our daily routines might be impacting their wellbeing – especially when it comes to time spent alone. 

While most dogs cope well with daily separations, some experience real emotional distress when left at home. This is known as separation related anxiety – a condition where dogs show signs of panic, frustration or fear when their owners leave. These behaviours aren’t about disobedience or boredom; they may be symptoms of genuine anxiety. 

What does separation anxiety look like? 

Dogs with separation anxiety may show signs before you even walk out the door. Common indicators include: 

• Agitation when you pick up keys or put on shoes 

• Destructive behaviours focused on exit points (like doors or windows) 

• Barking, whining, or howling when left alone 

• House-soiling despite being toilet-trained 

• Pacing, panting, or restlessness 

• Over-the-top greetings when you return 

In more severe cases, dogs may even injure themselves trying to escape or cope. 

Why it happens 

Dogs are social animals who evolved to live in groups. Modern life – where families disappear for 8–10 hours a day – can be tough for dogs who rely on human companionship. Some dogs also struggle because of past experiences, like being abandoned, rehomed, or left alone too soon as puppies. 

Others may have simply never been taught how to be comfortable on their own, especially dogs adopted during times of constant companionship - like the COVID-19 lockdowns. 

While the reasons can be complex and quite individual to each dog, research has identified several underlying factors can contribute to separation related behaviours: 

• Pathological over-attachment: Dogs overly dependent on their owners may become distressed even during short separations, especially if they’ve never learned to be alone or have been reinforced for clingy behaviour. 

• Conditioned fear of isolation: A traumatic event while alone – like a storm or break-in – can cause dogs to associate being alone with danger, especially if the event was recent. 

• Lack of alone-time training: Dogs not gradually taught to cope with being alone, especially those raised during lockdowns, may struggle when left on their own. 

• Environmental triggers: Noises or activity outside – like couriers, other animals, or neighbourhood sounds – can distress dogs when no one is home to reassure them, or a change in living environment can trigger anxiety 

• Frustration or panic: Dogs may become distressed if they can’t control their environment, feel trapped, or can’t escape stress-inducing situations. Frustration can lead to arousal causing the dog to bark and exhibit destructive behaviours when left alone.  

Some behaviours that appear to be separation anxiety may actually be due to other causes, such as boredom, incomplete house-training, limited toileting opportunities, or normal exploratory behaviour when unsupervised. 

What you can do 

The good news? Most dogs can learn to be OK with alone time—with patience, consistency, and the right support. 

Immediate safety and damage control should be your first priority. Create a safe, comfortable space (a den) where your dog cannot injure themselves or destroy valuable items. Consider using baby gates to confine your dog to a safe area in the home rather than complete isolation, which can increase anxiety. Remove or secure items that might be dangerous if chewed or ingested. 

Once safety has been established, start with these key steps: 

• Talk to your vet: It is very important to rule out medical issues which may be causing these behaviours before attempting other steps.  

• Ease into it: Practice short separations at home before longer absences. This is called learning to be alone through desensitisation and counter-conditioning and it represents the gold standard of behavioural modification for separation anxiety. The key is progressing so gradually that your dog never becomes anxious. 

• Change your cues: Pick up your keys or put on your coat without leaving to reduce anticipatory stress. 

• Reward calmness: Use special toys or treats that your dog only gets when you're gone. 

• Enrich the environment: Keep your dog mentally stimulated with puzzle feeders and chew toys. Leaving the radio or TV on can also help. 

• Avoid dramatic goodbyes and reunions: Stay calm and casual to avoid heightening emotion. 

Some cases may benefit from professional behaviour therapy or anti-anxiety medication to support long-term recovery – especially when distress is severe or escalating. 

Every dog deserves to feel safe 

Separation anxiety can be tough – for dogs and their people. But it’s not a hopeless situation. The process requires time – often months rather than weeks – but the improvement in quality of life for both dog and family makes the investment worthwhile. 

With the right help, most dogs improve over time and learn to relax when home alone. Understanding that these behaviours mostly stem from fear – not mischief – is the first step in giving your dog the support they need to live a happy, confident life. 

Want to learn more? 

Check out our Extended Guide on separation anxiety, where we explore: 

• Why dogs struggle with time alone 

• How to spot the signs 

• Why rehomed dogs may be more vulnerable 

• Practical training strategies 

• When to seek professional help 

“Scaredy cats” - Understanding anxiety in our feline companions

Cats are often perceived as independent and self-sufficient creatures. However, they are complex animals and can experience significant anxiety, particularly when faced with environmental changes or forced proximity to other cats.  

Understanding the signs of feline anxiety and how to address them is crucial for responsible pet ownership and ensuring your cat's wellbeing. 

Why feline anxiety often goes undetected 

Despite the significant impact anxiety can have on a cat's wellbeing, feline anxiety frequently goes unrecognised by owners for several reasons: 

• Subtle expression: Unlike dogs, cats often display stress in subtle ways that can be easily overlooked or misinterpreted as normal feline behaviour. 

• Natural tendency to hide weakness: As instinctive predators and prey, cats have evolved to mask signs of vulnerability. In the wild, displaying weakness could attract predators or competitors, so cats instinctively conceal discomfort and anxiety. 

• Gradual onset: Anxiety symptoms often develop gradually, making changes in behaviour less noticeable to owners who see their cats daily. 

• Normalisation of stress behaviours: Some owners come to accept certain stress behaviours—such as excessive grooming or hiding—as "just what cats do" rather than recognising them as signs of underlying anxiety. 

• Urban living: Cats living in close proximity to many other cats such as can be the case in an urban/suburban environment may display chronic low-level stress that owners perceive as normal. 

Recognising signs of anxiety in cats 

Anxious cats typically display their distress through several key behaviours: 

• Urine spraying on vertical surfaces 

• Inappropriate toileting outside the litter tray 

• Hiding or reduced social interaction 

• Changes in appetite - eating significantly more or less 

• Repetitive, purposeless behaviours (eg. overgrooming) 

• Aggression towards people or animals - often unprovoked 

• Increased vocalisation (meowing/howling) - often out of character 

• Restlessness or sleep changes - unable to settle or sleeping much more 

• Hypervigilance - constantly alert, jumpy or easily startled 

Beyond these behavioural signs, cats suffering from anxiety are also susceptible to developing stress-related physical illnesses. Feline idiopathic cystitis (FIC) is one example that is particularly common and often requires a combination of veterinary care and behavioural/environmental modifications to treat effectively. 

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Understanding house-soiling 

Although elimination behaviour (the term used for a cat toileting) is a symptom of anxiety, it’s important to understand the underlying causes to be able to diagnose the problem and address it effectively. There are two distinct types of elimination issues, each with different underlying causes: 

1. Inappropriate elimination 

Inappropriate elimination refers to a cat urinating or defecating outside its litter tray in areas not typically associated with toileting behaviour, such as on furniture, carpets, or beds.

This behaviour is usually due to medical issues, environmental discomfort, or anxiety and is not intended as communication. In normal circumstances, cats prefer to eliminate in quiet, secluded locations, on substrates suitable for burying waste. These sites are usually at the periphery of their core living area, away from feeding and resting areas, with some cats preferring separate locations for urination and defecation.  

When a cat stops using its litter tray, there may be a number of potential causes: 

• The location or substrate is no longer desirable or feels unsafe 

• The cat associates the location with feeling painful (e.g., from cystitis or constipation) 

• Physical pain prevents the cat from accessing its normal location (e.g., arthritis) 

• Medical issues have altered the frequency or urgency of elimination 

Treatment approach: 

1. Firstly, address any underlying medical issues (ie consult your veterinarian) 

1. Identify and resolve environmental factors that’s making the normal toileting area undesirable 

1. Clean soiled areas thoroughly (use biological (enzymatic) cleaners)  

1. And if the issue is related to anxiety, talk to your vet about the use of pheromone therapy* (something like Feliway®) making sure its only used near the litter tray—never in inappropriately soiled areas, as this could encourage return to those locations.  

*Pheromone therapy refers to the use of synthetic versions of natural feline facial pheromones, designed to create a sense of safety and familiarity for cats, helping to reduce stress and anxiety-related behaviours like inappropriate toileting. 

2. Marking behaviours: urine spraying and middening** 

Marking behaviours serve a different purpose than elimination – they're chemical (pheromone) communication methods.

When cats spray urine in their core area, they're leaving scent messages to mark the areas where they perceive potential threats.  

**Middening (or territorial defecation) is when a cat purposely defecates outside of their litter box - conveying messages in response to perceived threats or stress. Unlike inappropriate elimination, it is not about toileting needs but about sending a signal. 

Treatment approach: 

1. Identify the likely source of threat or anxiety  

1. Clean marked areas thoroughly with biological cleaners  

1. Apply pheromone therapy (something like Feliway®) in the previously soiled areas (unlike with inappropriate elimination) to increase the cat's sense of security 

1. Consult an accredited animal behaviourist about use behaviour modification including environmental enrichment to reduce anxiety  

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Anxiety Triggered by Other Cats 

In multi-cat households, inter-cat conflict is a prevalent source of stress. Cats are inherently territorial and may perceive other cats as intruders, leading to aggression or avoidance behaviours. Such conflicts can result in chronic stress, manifesting as overgrooming, inappropriate elimination, or withdrawal.

The presence of unfamiliar cats, in the home (or core) territory, including those visible through windows, can also trigger anxiety and subsequent behavioural issues. 

Management Strategies in multi-cat households: 

• Gradual introductions: When introducing a new cat, ensure a slow and controlled process, allowing each cat to acclimate to the other's scent and presence. 

• Resource allocation: Provide multiple resources (e.g., litter boxes, feeding stations, resting areas) to reduce competition and territorial disputes. 

• Environmental enrichment: Incorporate vertical spaces and hiding spots to allow cats to establish their own territories and retreat when needed. 

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Environmental triggers of anxiety 

Cats are highly sensitive to changes in their environment. Alterations such as moving furniture, introducing new household members, or changes in routine can induce stress. Loud noises, unfamiliar scents, and lack of stimulation are additional factors that can contribute to anxiety. 

Management Strategies: 

• Maintain consistency: Keep routines as consistent as possible, including feeding times and play sessions. 

• Introduce changes gradually: When changes are necessary, implement them slowly to allow the cat time to adjust. 

• Provide safe spaces: Ensure your cat has access to quiet, secure areas where they can retreat and feel safe. 

• Use of pheromone therapy: Synthetic pheromones can help create a calming environment, reducing stress-related behaviours. 

Seek professional help 

If your cat is displaying signs of anxiety despite your best efforts, it may be time to consult a professional. Begin with a veterinary check-up to rule out medical causes, then consider working with a CANZ accredited qualified animal behaviourist.  

For information about finding a CANZ Accredited Behaviourist who can provide specialised assistance for your cat's anxiety, please visit the Companion Animals New Zealand website (www.companionanimals.nz)  

Note: This article is for general guidance only. Each cat is unique, and persistent behavioural issues should be addressed with professional support.