⚠️ Trigger Warning: This article discusses pet loss, euthanasia, and end-of-life decisions for animals. If you’re grieving or sensitive to this topic, please take care while reading.
Being a responsible guardian means accepting that providing a good death is as important as ensuring a good life. Through attentive care, early recognition of problems, proactive pain management, and timely decision-making, we can minimise our animals' suffering and honour the trust they've placed in us.
The connection between a good life and a good death
As responsible guardians of our companion animals, we strive to provide them with the best possible quality of life throughout their years with us. This commitment to their wellbeing doesn't end when they become ill or elderly - it extends to ensuring they experience a peaceful, dignified death when the time comes.
The concept of a "good death" comes from the Greek word "euthanasia," which literally means "good death" (eu = good, thanatos = death). Originally, this term described a natural, peaceful death free from suffering, though in modern veterinary medicine it has come to represent the compassionate ending of life to prevent further pain and distress.
A good death is simply the final chapter of a good life, and both require our thoughtful attention and care. Whether death comes naturally or through veterinary intervention, the principles remain the same: comfort, dignity, and freedom from unnecessary suffering.
The choices we make as guardians - from routine veterinary care and nutrition to recognising signs of decline - all contribute to minimising our animals' suffering. Understanding what constitutes a good death helps us make informed decisions that honour the trust our companions have placed in us throughout their lives.
We don’t always get to choose when or how our beloved animals leave us, and the heartbreak of loss is real no matter the circumstances — but when we are able to offer them a peaceful, pain-free passing, it is one of the most loving ways we can honour the life they shared with us.
When quality of life is questionable
Determining when to say goodbye isn't about the presence of illness alone, but about your animal's overall quality of life. As guardians, we must honestly assess whether our pets can still engage in activities that bring them joy and comfort. When pain cannot be adequately controlled, when mobility becomes severely limited, or when your animal shows little interest in food, companionship, or their surroundings, it may be time to consider letting go.
Veterinary professionals use quality of life scales that evaluate appetite, mobility, hygiene, and social interaction, but your intimate knowledge of your pet's personality and preferences is equally valuable. You know what makes your animal happy – and if they can no longer access these pleasures and their condition is irreversible, prolonging their life may cause more harm than good.
Our role in minimising suffering
We love our pets and as their guardians, we have the power to significantly reduce our animals' suffering through proactive choices including:
Early recognition: Learning to recognise subtle signs of pain or distress allows for prompt intervention. Animals instinctively hide discomfort, so changes in behaviour, appetite, or routine may signal underlying issues.
Preventive care: Regular veterinary check-ups, appropriate vaccinations, and dental care can prevent many conditions that cause suffering later in life. Senior pets benefit from more frequent health assessments to catch problems early.
Pain management: Advocating for proper pain relief when your pet is unwell. Modern veterinary medicine offers excellent options for managing pain and other distressing symptoms - no animal should suffer unnecessarily.
Environmental adaptations: Making simple changes to help ageing or unwell pets - raised food bowls, non-slip mats, ramps instead of stairs, or softer bedding can maintain comfort and independence.
What are the elements of a Good Death
Freedom from pain and distress
Our primary responsibility is ensuring our animals remain comfortable. This means working closely with veterinary professionals to manage not just physical pain, but also symptoms like difficulty breathing, nausea, anxiety, or confusion. Effective symptom control allows pets to spend their remaining time in peace rather than distress.
Familiar comfort and companionship
Animals find security in familiar surroundings and the presence of their family. Whenever possible, end-of-life care should take place at home, surrounded by the people and places your pet knows best. Many veterinary practices now offer home visits for euthanasia, allowing pets to pass away peacefully in their favourite spot. Many owners report having a more positive experience if the euthanasia was performed at home (80%) than if performed at a veterinary hospital (43%).
If home isn't feasible, creating a calm environment with the owner present, and with familiar scents, blankets, or toys can provide comfort during this time.
Respecting individual needs
Every animal has unique preferences that should be taken into account during their final days. Some seek close contact and comfort from their humans, whilst others prefer quiet solitude. Some may have special foods they still enjoy or particular resting places where they feel secure. Recognising and accommodating these individual characteristics helps provide your pet with some control and sense of self.
Timely decision-making
Perhaps our greatest responsibility as guardians is knowing when to let go. This requires good information through conversations with veterinary professionals about prognosis, available treatments, and realistic expectations. The decision should always be based on your animal's wellbeing rather than our own emotional needs.
Consider what gave your pet the greatest joy in life - if they can no longer engage in these activities and face a future of increasing discomfort and pain, choosing euthanasia may be your final act of love and responsibility.
The compassionate choice of euthanasia
When medical intervention can no longer provide adequate comfort or quality of life, euthanasia represents a humane option that prevents further suffering. Modern veterinary euthanasia, properly performed, provides a quick and peaceful death - the animal loses consciousness within seconds and passes away within minutes.
This decision should never be made hastily or under pressure. It requires careful consideration of your pet's current state, future prospects, and your family's circumstances. However, choosing euthanasia to end unnecessary suffering should be viewed as an act of love.
Planning and preparation
Responsible guardianship includes thinking ahead about end-of-life care before a crisis occurs. Discuss your pet's likely health trajectory with your vet, particularly for breeds prone to specific conditions. Understanding potential challenges allows you to make informed decisions about treatment options and quality of life thresholds.
Some families find it helpful to create care plans outlining their wishes for their pet's end-of-life care, including preferences for pain management, environmental considerations, and decision-making criteria. These plans prove invaluable during emotionally challenging times when clear thinking becomes difficult.
Supporting yourself and your other pets after loss
Acknowledging that grief following pet loss is genuine and significant is part of responsible guardianship. The bond we share with our animals is real and meaningful, and their loss (even if a good death) will have a significant impact on you and your family, as well as other pets in the household.
The most common behavioural changes in other pets in the household as reported by owners following the death of a pet were; increased affectionate (75% of dogs and 53% of cats) and territorial behaviours (59% of dogs and 63% of cats). Dogs were reported to reduce food consumption, increase sleep, decrease vocalisations, and cats were reported to increase vocalisations and increase aggression following the death of a companion.
Everyone needs time and support to grieve, even other animals. Creating meaningful rituals - whether a small ceremony, memorial donation, or special remembrance - can help process grief whilst celebrating the joy your companion brought to your life.
The decision to say goodbye is never easy, but when made with your pet's wellbeing as the priority, it represents the ultimate act of guardianship - putting their needs before our own emotions. In choosing to prevent suffering rather than prolonging life at any cost, we demonstrate the depth of our love and respect for the animals who have enriched our lives so profoundly.
A peaceful goodbye, free from pain and surrounded by love, is perhaps the greatest gift we can offer our faithful companions in return for their years of unconditional devotion.
What support is available?
There are a range of free support services available in Aotearoa for those grieving the loss of a pet, including counselling, information packs, and helplines – and many people also find comfort by connecting with others in online support groups, such as those on Facebook or pet bereavement forums. Some local areas may also have other grief services for free, which also include the loss of a pet, so it is worth doing some research to understand how you can be supported.
Service | Type | Coverage | Cost |
---|---|---|---|
Skylight | Info & packs | National | Free |
Grief Centre | Counselling & groups | National | Free |
Puāwaitanga | Phone/video counselling | National (eligible only) | Free |
Pets At Rest | Referral network | National | Free |
Pet Angel Wings | Grief counselling | National | $120/session |
New Plymouth Vet Group | Bereavement counselling | Taranaki region | Free (complimentary) |
Loving Tributes | Counselling | Christchurch | $95/session |
Lap of Love | Support groups (online) | International | Free |
References:
Kogan, L. R., & Cooney, K. A. (2023). Defining a "Good Death": Exploring Veterinarians' Perceptions of Companion Animal Euthanasia. Animals: 13(13), 2117.
Littlewood K, Beausoleil N, Stafford K, Stephens C. “What would you do?”: how cat owners make end-of-life decisions and implications for veterinary-client interactions. Animals (Basel). 2021;11(4):1114. doi:10.3390/ani11041114
Walker JK, Waran NK, Phillips CJC. Owners’ Perceptions of Their Animal’s Behavioural Response to the Loss of an Animal Companion. Animals. 2016; 6(11):68.